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Posts Tagged ‘Lieberman’

The story:

“Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-Conn.) easily won a vote to remain chairman of a key committee today and will stay in the Democratic caucus despite his high-profile criticism of President-elect Barack Obama and his support of Sen. John McCain during the presidential campaign.”

My gut:

Lieberman can eat a dick.

The story:

“Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) said that “Joe Lieberman is a Democrat. He’s part of this caucus.”

My gut:

Harry Reid can eat a dick.

The story:

“The deal was negotiated by Sens. Christopher Dodd (D-Conn.) and Ken Salazar (D-Colo.), as well as Sens. Tom Carper (D-Del.) and Bill Nelson (D-Fla.). The Democratic caucus voted 42-13 to accept it.”

My gut:

Christopher Dodd (D-Eat a dick), Ken Salazar (D-Eat a dick), Tom Carper (D-Eat a dick), and Bill Nelson (D-Eat a dick).  And the caucus can eat 42 dicks.

Normally we try to keep this blog PG-13, or at least a genteel R.  So to all of our 11-year old readers who have never heard that expression, my heartfelt apologies.  This was a shameful cave-in, a shameless cave-in, a cave-in so shame-filled that both of those seeming antonyms apply.  There’s plenty of blame to go around, so let’s start at the top:

Obama deserves a flick on the ear for backing Fredo.  Hopey was referring only to Lieberman’s place in the caucus, rather than his status as a committee chair, and mostly stayed out of it. However, his willingness to pass the buck to Reid amounted to an endorsement of the status quo.  This solution fits his whole post-partisan, Hope! Change! Ponies! kinda schtick, but it’s weak sauce considering the depth and breadth of Lieberman’s nastiness.

Reid deserves a flick on the motherfuckin’ face for this.  On the night Fredo delivered the keynote at the Republican National Convention, the gutless Mormon announced he was “very disappointed.”  Sorry Harry, that’s what you say when your toddler eats a crayon.  Reid fluffed his own indignation, adding “I defy anyone to be more angry than I was” with Lieberman’s attacks on Obama; he called it “a period of time in Joe Lieberman’s political career I will never understand or approve.”  Sorry Harry, that’s what you tell your kids about your six months doing blow as a roadie for Whitesnake.  Lieberman’s attacks on Democrats aren’t a bug; they’re a feature.  Reid said it was “not a time for retribution.”  When is?

But then, the broader problem:  the vote wasn’t 28-27.  It wasn’t 31-24.  It’s not like this was a close call where one person’s leadership and initiative could’ve swung it.  Nope, this vote reflects a fundamental truth about political parties in America:  They are an incumbancy protection racket.

It’s not incongruous to hold this view and still be a partisan Democrat who gets emotional when we win.  The fact is, only one of the two choices we have (chicken or shit?) is the party of Roosevelt, McCarthy (the good one), Wellstone, Feingold, and Leahy among others.  At the same time, the main purpose of the Democratic Party does appear to be maintaining the Congressional seats of sitting Members.  Witness the party’s refusal to get behind Ned Lamont, the actual, nominated Democrat in Lieberman’s most recent race. (Reid himself reportedly asked Lamont to back off.)

People on both the left and the right have problems with a system that produces a remarkably Soviet 95% retention rate in the House, and only slightly lower numbers in the Senate.  This isn’t simply a matter of funding, franking privilages, or structural problems.  Everyone spits this “Joe Lieberman / is / my friend” crap as though that has anything to do with the price of dope in Dhaka.  We elect you cats to draft policy, not host slumber parties.  Congress remains at its core a lifetime membership country club, expulsion based primarily on being caught with with a live boy or a dead girl.  The entire caucus faced a choice between propping up one of their long-time drinking buddies or acting with the voice of the people who elected them; and they told their constituents to go eat a dick.

Let me add: This isn’t a purge.  Lieberman could stay in the caucus.  The issue was having him chairing a really freakin important committee.  Other Democrats have conservative voting records, but they don’t make their careers trashing their party.  Dear uncle Harry told Democrats that Lieberman is with us on “virtually everything except the war,” but this is beside the point.  Mary Landrieu and Mark Pryor don’t vote the way Dick Durbin and I would, but they don’t headline the Republican convention.  So without further ado, a desperately incomplete list of reactionary tripe from Senator Lieberman:

-Goes on Bill “the gambler” Bennett’s radio show spitting “retreat and defeat.”

-Tells Glenn “I hate the 9/11 families” Beck that he “fears for the survival of the country” if the Democrats get to 60 Senate seats.  (P.S. hey asshole, that includes you!)

-Calls it a “good question” when a Fox News “analyst” asks if Obama is a Marxist.

-Supports Catholic hospitals denying contraceptives to rape victims on grounds that “it shouldn’t take more than a short ride to get to another hospital.

-Defends waterboarding on grounds that “it’s not like [using] burning coals.”  (He also has a bold, mavericky stance against the Spanish Inquisition.)

-Not only backs Senator McCain for President, but endorses other Senate Republicans as well.

This is the guy who’s “with us on everything except the war,” Harry Reid’s “friend” who just had a temporary blackout period of conservative vitriol, a man who apparantly deserves nothing more than losing a subcommittee position on polar bears.  For the millionth time, the Goldfinger quote:

“Once is happenstance; twice is coincidence; three times is enemy action.”

And so I ask our readers:  What in the name of Christ on a cracker is a firing offense in this town?

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Speaking of Joe Lieberman….

That would be me on the left. Long story short, I was interning at the airport this summer and I was on my daily trek to Cosi when I spot none other than Monsieur Lieberman shaking hands with the employees of Dunkin Donuts. As Mischa said “if you put ‘ballin’ in urbandictionary, you get a picture of Joe Lieberman smiling next to a black service-sector employee at an airport’. To clarify: this quote made a lot more sense in context on gchat and Mischa is in fact not a hipster racist.

His daughter (granddaughter?) seemed annoyed to be asked to take yet another picture, but obliged nonetheless. In retrospect, he is taller than one might expect. And no, that is not a bathrobe–that’s the ‘hoodie alternative’ I got at J.Crew.

Later that same week I met Mike Gravel in Shirlington. It is a point of bitterness for me that all the other interns I know got to shake hands with Barack this summer and all I was the rejects of the Democratic party.

Its ok, all I have to do is look into the eyes of young Howard Dean and know the DNC still loves me.

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Epic typo

Yes, this is how we all feel:

“After focusing on Obama, the article discusses several possible McCain picks, and relates, “His top contenders are said to include Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. Less traditional choices mentioned include former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, an abortion-rights supporter, and Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, the Democratic vice presidential prick in 2000 who now is an independent.”

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